Monday, May 23, 2005

melodramatic and in need of prozac.

I'm having one of those nights. Just general ennui and angst. The people that I know can that talk me down off the proverbial ledge and not think I am a total lunatic are either way over their phone minutes or its past 11pm on the East coast and they are sleeping.

I sit here, trying to will the phone to ring, and won't pick it up and call someone because I don't want to bother anyone. I hate calling people. but I like to be called. I'm incorrigible.

I'm listening to dark music, wumpscut, KMFDM, Bauhaus... I have snacked on various soy products looking for something to satisfy this soul's craving, brewed a couple cups of chamomile and nothing seems to help.

Tonight I am lonely, and I don't really know why... because I had the best drive home - I took the long way home, and blasted the Cure, and shielded my eyes from the sun and smiled for no reason... now I've crash landed.

I hate when i get like this.

Where all I want is to be gently loved to sleep... and my bed seems huge and empty and the night is so so long.

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