Thursday, March 27, 2008

Oh the Drama. An Open Letter, if you will.

We went to my parents for Chocolate Bunny/Jesus Resurrection Day. Have a massive amount of leftovers. My mom invited us and we accepted before his mom invited us. Plus, my mom is way more active with the kids on a daily/weekly basis, and they would want to go there anyway. Dave's mom lives 1 1/2 hours away too, so it's kind of a "thing" to go out there. We took the kids out there a couple of months ago to see her. Apparently this still upset Dave's mom, and she tried to guilt him into that hardly anyone was coming for Easter, but he held steadfast.

Apparently during this Easter Dinner of a few people discussion of the wedding reception came up, and one of the guests there was not one of the few that was invited. And is not a blood relative. Including everyone's kids the guest list including ourselves is like 35. It just so happened that the core of Dave's family were there. The crappy thing is apparently Dave's brother was voted to call Dave tonight and "just to let him know, X person is upset they didn't get an invitation" and then make small talk for 5 mins, trying to cover up the fact that they were the one voted to make the uncomfortable phone call. DO NOT DO THIS TO YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, PEOPLE.

This person wasn't invited for a couple of reasons. And so, I bring you a public service announcement on social etiquette!

1. If you are diagnosed with a major mental illness, it's probably not a good idea to announce this in the middle of a huge family gathering and expect for people meeting you for the first time not to think you are um, well, crazy. If you also don't talk to these people when they attempt to engage you in conversation this just reinforces the crazy thing.

2. The second time you meet your "relative's" new significant other (that is already serious, as they are cohabitating) don't ask your "relative" for their ex spouse's phone number or email because "you miss them." And don't ask this in front of the new romantic partner. This is particularly important if you don't bother to find out why the divorce happened, and that this person made their life and their children's lives a living hell, and continues to do so on a weekly basis. This point in itself is probably enough to ensure you won't get invited to THIS COUPLE'S CELEBRATION OF THEIR NEW MARRIAGE. Call the ex and badmouth them together instead, ok? You have an open invitation there, I would imagine.

3. If you didn't get invited, there is a reason. (see 1 and 2). Additional reasons for not being invited could be:

a. the bride and groom aren't wealthy, and very few people are invited (as in the Bride's family that is invited consists of thus: Mom and Stepdad. End of list. Groom's family consists of Mom and Stepdad, Dad and Stepmom, Siblings and their children, Grandma and Grandpa who can't come anyway but want to see the invitation. End of list. No stepsiblings on either side. No cousins on either side. No aunts/uncles on either side. Next on the invite list: those friends that are the "core" as in have always been supportive of said union and talk to/hang out with the bride and groom on a regular basis.)

b. you haven't talked to the bride OR groom, since you asked for the groom's ex-wifes contact info over 2 years ago

c. the bride and groom cringe, wondering what the hell you will blurt out during the reception because you obviously have no restraint whatsoever

While we're at it, and I'm talking about the SOCIALLY RETARDED, the following (unrelated) social etiquette rules should also be abided by:

1. Never ask someone if their girlfriend is pregnant when you hear that they are moving in. The above mentioned ex-wife snidely assumed I was knocked up when Dave, as a courtesy, let her know I moved in. She's lucky she wasn't in the room when I heard this, or she would have eaten my fist.

2. Never ask someone when the baby is due unless you actually see the baby exiting the woman's body. Even if the woman is shopping in a baby store. Even if her stomach is the size of the Titanic. This has never happened to me, but I've witnessed it, and friends, it is UGLY. I'm just sayin'.

3. Never ask someone when they are going to get around to having kids. They may hate kids (like Jay) or be unable to have kids, or just don't want them. Either way, it's none of your damn business who is a breeder and who isn't. Mind your own uterus.

And with that, I think my rant is over, having taken out my frustration on my keyboard.

Sunday, March 16, 2008


We have been at War for Five Years.

This is the result:
Military Deaths:
US 3992
UK 175
TOTAL: 4300
Average: 2.6 lives lost per day
Iraqi Security Forces and Iraqi Civilian Deaths:
8027 Security Forces
40,857 Civilians

This does not take into account the suffering of those wounded mentally and physically, the marriages that have failed as a result of these stresses, and the children that have had their lives turned upside down as a result.
(numbers from

This is part of what my candidate for President had to say about today’s tragic anniversary:

"Five years ago today, President George W. Bush launched a war that should never have been authorized based on faulty premises and bad intelligence.This war has now lasted longer than World War I, World War II, or the Civil War. Nearly four thousand Americans have given their lives. Thousands more have been wounded. Even under the best-case scenarios, this war will cost American taxpayers well over a trillion dollars.And where are we for all of this sacrifice?
We are less safe and less able to shape events abroad. We are divided at home, and our alliances around the world have been strained. The threats of a new century have roiled the waters of peace and stability, and yet America remains anchored in Iraq.

I am running for President because it’s time to turn the page on a failed ideology and a fundamentally flawed political strategy, so that we can make pragmatic judgments to keep our country safe.

That’s what I did when I stood up and opposed this war from the start and said that we needed to finish the fight against al Qaeda. And that’s what I’ll do as President of the United States.
Please take a few minutes to read my strategy for ending the war in Iraq and making America safer. I hope you will sign on and show your support:

Here are the core elements of my strategy to address our critical national security challenges in the 21st century:

End the war in Iraq, removing our troops at a pace of 1 to 2 combat brigades per month;
Finally finish the fight against the Taliban, root out al Qaeda and invest in the people of Afghanistan and Pakistan, while making aid to the Pakistani government conditional;
Act aggressively to stop nuclear proliferation and to secure all loose nuclear materials around the world;
Double our foreign assistance to cut extreme poverty in half;
Invest in a clean energy future to wean the U.S. off of foreign oil and to lead the world against the threat of global climate change;
Rebuild our military capability by increasing the number of soldiers, marines, and special forces troops, and insist on adequate training and time off between deployments;
Renew American diplomacy by talking to our adversaries as well as our friends; increasing the size of the Foreign Service and the Peace Corps; and creating an America’s Voice Corps. "

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Every dollar spent = a vote for your beliefs.

So, we are in the hardcore stages of wedding planning now. In checking out tips about various chapels etc I came across a list of wedding chapels that not only perform hetero weddings but perform GLBT commitment ceremonies. I called the chapel we had reservations at (the drive thru) and inquired if they perform GLBT ceremonies and was told that it was the individual decision of the minister, but in general they do not.

Having a mini meltdown, thinking we could not marry in April, was only a taste of what it must be like to be gay/lesbian and not have your chosen life partner legally recognized. And it dawned on me that even though Dave and I would be able to have whatever kind of non-legal ceremony we wanted, the fact that we felt so horrible (and I know I have friends who feel this frustration too) when it seemed out of our reach put it in perspective - I don't believe having the freedom to marry and having the freedom to be domestic partners if you are GLBT are the same thing.
So because of this, we switched wedding chapels. There will still be a limo, still be photos, but there is no drive through. Feeling how we felt last week also reminded me that marrying Dave wasn't a joke to me, and I felt the need to at least do it with a little bit of class - even though it's just him and I.

We are still marrying at 7pm April 1st - we are just doing it in a place where all people are welcomed. Because equality is what we believe in.

Also, we signed the papers on our house today - inspection is Tuesday and closing is April 30. Sounds like my goal of owning a home by age 30 is happening.