Tuesday, August 24, 2010


August is almost over, hard to believe.

I love, love, LOVE my new job. And I am damn good at it. I've gotten kudos from my boss on several things I've done, and everyone in my department is so supportive and welcoming. I feel like I've been let out of a cage. I'm planning on kicking butt at bonus time, and using that $$ to get myself something completely awesome and extravagant as a celebration of my success. I am greatly enjoying the interaction with people on the phone, and the privacy of my own office. Aside from the getting up part (hahah) I love coming to work.

I'm exhausted all the time, as besides my current duties, I am helping my replacement get up to speed in my past Hell job. There just aren't enough hours in the day for me to get all done. She's very overwhelmed, and I'm trying to reassure her it will get better. Even though psychoboss isn't her immediate boss, she's having to take direction from her and work with her, and it's frustrating her already. I am trying my best to tell her it will get better, but the secret part of me almost wants her to bail, as then I'll just be that more validated that I stuck it out for two frigging years. That's kind of petty though. Although I do very much feel that they took me for granted, and wonder if things will get to the level that they were when I left. I don't think they have a clue how much I actually did.

I've been feeling ok in general. It dawned on me that next month is my birthday, and my dad's birthday is 3 days before it. We generally tried to celebrate together, especially in the last few years when we were physically together. I am imagining that it will be tough. Very tough. I'm hoping for distraction.

I'm to the point now where I can see photos of him and it doesn't make me sad, it makes me smile, just a twinge of hurt inside that photographs and memories are what's left. I still think about him every day, multiple times, and sometimes I swear I can "feel" him. That makes me joyous, and tear up at the same time. I worry about losing the connection. I lost him once when I was a kid, once when he passed, and I'm holding on tight to whatever I have left.

Madison is growing like crazy. It makes me happy, as our good care of our furbaby has resulted in that, but part of me wishes she was a baby forever. I am so attached to that little girl. I am attached to ALL of my furbabies, but the timing of her has really bonded me to her on a different level. She is an amazingly funny little cat.