Sunday, January 11, 2009

Leavin' on a jet plane...

Tomorrow (if I get it all cleared with my work - I don't anticipate problems, but was unable to get ahold of my boss over the weekend) I am leaving to go be with my family in Sacramento. My beloved uncle, my hero, my friend, is losing the battle with cancer.

He is due to pass this week.

My mom is going down there with no return date, I am due to return Sunday. I hope that I can be of some help to my aunt and cousins, who I also love dearly. The battle has been long and painful for them all, I know they are all exhausted, and I think I can at least offer an empathetic ear and some strength.

It is strange irony that both of our dads will pass this year, and mine has been on hospice much longer but is still (barely) hanging on.I tend to do well in crisis situations (believe it or not) while they are happening, as I can keep somewhat detached - detached enough to at least keep things together and offer perspective to those involved. I'm sure this has something to do with my detachment from everyone in general, but in situations like this having this sort of barrier is typically helpful.

I've only had one meltdown, albeit temporarily, about this situation, and the autopilot has resumed. The thing to remember about my uncle and my dad is once this sucky part is over they WILL NOT BE SICK anymore. And I definitely believe in God and "Heaven" (or higher power/nirvana whatever you want to call it) and that our time here is just one small silver of what is Real, and that their great journeys are just beginning.

While it is sad for us left behind, they get to go Home. And that can bring peace to horrible things like cancer.

I wish him peace and a fabulous journey, and I am happy that he will no longer be weighed down with his failing body. My tribute to him will be to try to help those that are left behind try to make sense of all of this and move once again toward Life.

See you all in a week.