Sunday, April 24, 2005

rum kicks ass. warning, drunken post.

its fucking 3 am and i now just got trashed. fucking christ tonight was a cluster. okay, so today i went and bought some new shit, clothes and stuff, was feeling kinda seeeexy which is always nice, given my state of mind as of late, and so I got all gussied up to meet heather at some club over by PSU. So i got lost on the way there, but found it.

Got there, was alright. Live music - bluesy, groovy, danced my ass off last night so I was down with just listening and chatting with her. So its total meat market, right? I wore my glasses on purpose, as they usually dissuade a lot of the men just looking for an easy lay, which I am not. I may be a good lay but I am not an easy lay. Anyway.

Dude asks me to dance. Sure. Someone has the balls to ask me to dance, I dance with them. God knows I'm too chickenshit to even fucking talk to people I find attractive unless I'm liquored up, so I figure, kudos to them for fucking sucking it up.

First dude - from Ethiopia. Real nice. Engineer. Something to do with computers, name I couldn't pronounce sober. Whatever. Nice guy. Well apparently I made an impression on him because he kept coming back. No biggie. Was very polite, no problems here.

Second guy aka the Crotch master. White dude, typical middle class blah blah, not my type again. No biggie, he asks, sure. So we go out there and within like 3 fucking seconds he's grinding me against the wall. What the fuck? Like I want to feel his huge fucking boner and I was like, "Whoa dude, you need to back up a little" (polite, mind you) he just wasn't fucking hearing it and grabbed my hand harder and starts grinding. Fuck you horn dog! The song blessedly ends and I escape and he has the balls to say "We can keep dancing, you know?" I say "Sorry, that isn't dancing in my world."

Next comes Giovanni. He wanted to start a band with me. I'm not kidding. I've never used the fact that I play guitar to pick up guys. File away for future use. So he was from Buenos Aires and verrrry touchy feely, but not in that perverted way. (maybe it was the accent) Found out I play and wanted me to feel the calluses on his fingers, proof he plays too. Wanted my number, told him sorry dude, don't give out my number to men.

Which is true. Unless I really like you and know you aren't a psycho.

Anyway, Mr. Ethiopia kept coming back and chatting, which was alright with me. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. The only person I had anything in common with in the whole bar was the guitarist, who I chatted up - totally innocently - not my type again - to his girlfriend's bitter chagrin. A discussion about his pedal apparently set her off. What is it with fucking jealous people?

Then at like 1:50 the lights went on and it was fucking hilarious to see people run to each other like fucking cockroaches to try to hook up and take someone home. hahahaha. I had four attempts. Sorry dude, I'm horny but I cope. I want a little meaning to my lays. And yes, I'd like to have a low maintenance monogamous friend to spend time with, but I'm picky. If we can't even enjoy the record that's playing while we do it it won't work out for me. yes, I like to have sex to music, its a requirement in my bedroom. Moving on... (damn i'm drunk - this is almost as funny as my convo with Brie about swallowing last night while we waited for our 7 layer burritos - Taco Bell is only good when hammered)

Anyway, I obviously couldn't get lit because I was driving, but that didn't stop me from taking a wrong turn and ending up on 5 South to fucking Lake Oswego at 2 in the morning. So I finally got home, reeking of some dudes cheap cologne and stale bar cigarettes and decided I needed a fucking stiff drink, because everyone I know is either sleeping or doing something I don't know about (like each other).

FUCK. And there's a snag in my new pin stripe pants I just bought today I'm really glad i threw away all my clove cigarettes last December cause i'd so be chain smoking right now. what else is a girl to do at 3:19 am while she listens to bauhaus and pickles herself with bacardi? good night my loves. i hope you are all sleeping well and dreaming of sexy people. i may watch the sun rise. can't remember the last time i did that when i was alone.

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