Monday, July 11, 2005


I'm currently feeling pulled in two different directions... like this should be nothing new.
Now that the last chapter of my so-eventful life is officially over, its got me thinking - what kind of life do I really WANT?

Because I'm free to do whatever I want.

I could now accept that really exciting job offer, writing where the winds take me... that I gave up because my ex couldn't handle it. I could go whenever I wanted. I could be as bohemian and flaky and irresponsible as I want. I want to seriously take up guitar again, drink beer in dive bars, buy a motorcycle... I could write the next "On the Road". I could live it.

But I had this other realization... and its a weird one. I want to be domestic. I want a little house with a backyard where I can have all kinds of fuzzy babies and I could grow my own veggies and take naps in the sun and read books all day.

So which do I want?

I don't have a fucking clue. So I'll walk the line until I figure it out. They both seem so terribly important to me... And I can only have one.

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