Yesterday I received a huge honor.
I have a friend, who I met on the internet a year or so ago, and we've become really close emotionally. She lives in Colorado Springs, and we haven't hung in person yet, but have plans to do so in March in Las Vegas (paaaartay!). One of the things we have in common is our huge love for animals.
She has been kicking around starting a non-profit to help pay for pets medical expenses when their moms/dads can't afford it. In her case, one of her beloved dogs had cancer. She was lucky enough that she had the funds for his treatment, and she's had 2 more years (so far) with her furbaby.
So she is getting ready to file the paperwork for her nonprofit, called "2 More Years" and she did me the honor of asking me if I'd be on her Board of Directors today. I of course accepted, and was honored to do so.
This meant to much to me, her trust in me, and our friendship. And when I felt all teary about it, I also noticed when I was knitting quietly lately, I felt a sense of triumph - the geeky nerd from my youth and the outcast of my teenage angst years was accepted by "the cool kid." (My friend is funny, smart etc. - and happens to be supermodel-level thin and gorgeous...)
Odd feeling, and I guess what I'm saying is I didn't realize how much my self esteem still needs improvement and how important it is for me to feel like I belong somewhere. I guess I still feel like the outsider, when it comes to my insides. Not sure how to fix it, but you can bet I'm going to keep trying.
I went to the doctor yesterday, an allergist/immunologist this time. We are still trying to pinpoint the causes of my constant fatigue and aches and basically daily headaches. Blood was taken to check for Crohn's and for rheumatoid arthiritis. I'm worried something will come back as positive, but almost hoping something will come back as I'm so sick to death of feeling exhausted and sore every day of my life and having no real explanation. When lifting your coffee mug literally hurts and tires you out there is a problem. Fibromyalgia has been thrown around in the past, but there's really no "test" for it other than a list of symptoms. Hell, I don't know. I just want to feel better, and not have them all think I'm a hypochondriac.