Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Crazy is a Crazy Does.

The latest dad round. This is therapeutic for me. I need to get it out. I'm stressed beyond belief and just on the verge of tears. Feel free to skip over and read someone else's happy blog.

Last night he was getting pissed off at me, because I wouldn't buy into his fantiasies/hallucinations - telling me "I'm not crazy!!!" He's never been angry at me before...

It's amazing what they WON'T tell you at the VA, unless you ask.

Like I found out today he's on yet another medication - Heperin - for strokes/clots and that he was anemic and his platelets were shot when he got there initially. Have any of the doctors bothered to tell me any of this? Of course not. GRR.

His hallucinations continue. He's been seeing people "steal his newspaper" and seeing "spiders on the ceiling," according to the nurses there. He also has been telling people that his wife is dead and that he's a widower. LOL.

The social worker (AKA "My team") agrees with me that his dementia isn't bad enough to put him over in the dementia ward of the facility. I explained to this that if they want him to start acting out on his suicidal tendencies that putting him in the dementia ward was the surest way to ensure this.

I know that a lot of this is temporary, a lot of this has to do with his meds being jerked around and things, because it wasn't NEARLY this bad before the VA got ahold of him. The social worker agrees there can be come improvement. Now it's up to us to convince the rest of the "medical team" that this is in his best interest. He isn't ready for that wing at his apartment place, I know it... I know it in my gut. I have a meeting next Friday over there to convince the rest of them this.

He is not making very good progress Occupational Therapy-wise, and they are very concerned over his level of assistance at this point. So that's not good news. He will need a lot of help, and getting him to accept it is going to be the difficult part. I think I need to basically threaten him with "You do what they say or they are going to make you stay here."

I'm worried about a number of things - the main two being

1. He's mentally ill enough to warrant the dementia ward, and I'm not seeing it. I really don't think this is the case. I hope he can still get somewhat better.

2. If he doesn't get better I'm going to have to go to court to get guardianship over him, financially and otherwise, because if he can't be labeled coherent enough to give me power of attorney I'm going to have to do this, and without this I can't have access to his funds to help him pay bills, etc.

I feel nauseous. I have no idea how to do all of this, and I'm trying not to panic here. I don't know if I try to reason with him, tell him he needs to trust me, or if I just get brutal with him and tell him how it is and have him get pissed off. I don't know what to do, and I hate it.

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